MY POD....

Life, in general, has taken twisted little turns lately....ups and downs...fun and not so fun.
So, now what does the future hold? It still seems uncertain...still in someone else's hands (at least in part). I have made my decisions...felt the consequences of those decisions...both good and bad...jumped through hoops and over hurdles. And here I am...waiting and wondering...and hoping.

Patience is not a virtue I possess. I am trying to learn...but that's a rocky road and a whole story in itself. So, I am "patiently" going through life and my days of self discovery...trying to find a place in the world that I fit in. You would think that by my age I would have kind of "been there, done that"...not so much. But maybe that's the secret...life is a journey of self discovery and the point of it is to always be learning, discovering...changing. Hmmm...that was a semi-deep thought. Weird.

I am in what I lovingly refer to as "pod mode" today...in my room, alone, with music playing as loud as my speakers can handle. It helps me...find me. To shut the rest of the world away for a little while is sometimes a good thing. Oh, did I mention the music is nothing short of window shaking? I never play sweet little thoughtful tunes on days like this. Music for these kinds of days is VERY intense. The dancer that still lives in me wants to be someplace...and dancing. Ah well, this will have to do for now.

I am missing people today...lots of different people. Family and friends are in my mind and I am wishing I could see them...some more than others...some so much that it hurts to think about it. I am trying to NOT think about it...unsuccessfully. Note to self...try playing music even LOUDER...to drown out the voices telling me how much I miss them.

So, if you are reading this, try not to be too judgmental. I am an expert in self-preservation (been doing it a long time) and do the things I do...because they see me through...and I survive (in one slightly cracked and dented piece).