Feeling Lost...

I know I said I would try to be better the next time I was here...but things just aren't working out that way.

I'm so tired today. It feels as thought all my energy (you know, the kind found deep inside) has been drained. That "empty soul" kind of feeling. It's a very lonely feeling.

I am lost. I've worked so hard for the life I want...but I'm not the one who gets to decide if I have that life...so all the hard work in the world doesn't really make a difference. I make mistakes and am trying to learn from them...but don't get the chance. I keep trying and it doesn't matter.

So what do I do with all this?...I don't want to be whiny...or have a "pity party" for myself. What I want is for things to work out...and to be able to have a say in it. I don't want to be sad anymore! I WANT PEACE IN MY LIFE!!!